Friday, 06 February 2015 00:00

MOVIE REVIEW - Seventh Son

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In all seriousness, isn't there something better than can be done with 100 million dollars than make this junk?  Welcome the new Seventh Son.

 
This is a big budget, mid-winter action, fantasy flick pitting good versus evil as usual.  What separates this movie from many others of this ilk is that this is putrid, where most of it's contemporaries are simply horrible.  Seventh Son is supposed to be visually stunning, funny, actiony, loud and a real fantasy. The only fantasy here was in some dodo's mind that this would actually be good.

 

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Sadly this stars Jeff Bridges who is a very fine actor, and an Oscar winner. Probably should have won a couple more over this career.  Now, he's been reduced to taking these kind of roles in poorly written, computer generated flicks for people who are still trapped in the Harry Potter time warp and have really no idea what really good is.  This also stars Julianne Moore who has never sold one single movie ticket on her own in her entire career.  And even more sad, they are given no chance as every single aspect of this is simply dry heave-able.


Bridges plays a witch slayer, and Moore plays the head witch, and they are trying to kill each other for some reason we never really know.  This takes place hundreds of years ago, and there is some silliness about a seventh son, and a blood moon, and the rise of evil, and witches mating with humans. Oh, it all just makes me want to grab the air sick bag that theaters should provide in mid- February in the seat backs when these first quarter dogs come out.

There are plenty of bells, whistles, loud things, animation, death, destruction and the like to go around. This looks like a video game, and I'm sure that's the idea.  But the plain truth is, you don't care.  You just don't care about any of this. Rare is the day that 100 million will leave you as bored, and as disinterested and non-engaged as this.

I hope Bridges can find better projects in the future. But to do so, Hollywood will have to change too.  These are the kind of movies they make now, and fluff is far more important than substance. 
Bridges found his stride in 2010 with True Grit where he should have won an Oscar.  And with Crazy Heart, where he did.  I love him in the right role.  Moore, just needs to find another boring script that she can get a supporting role in that no one will remember.  The supporting cast here is non-existent, and none of this is worth your time, money or effort.

Seventh Son.  Agonizingly bad.

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Read 2266 times Last modified on Friday, 06 February 2015 17:32

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