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Nationally recognized with 3 ACM nominations and 1 CRS Country Aircheck Award for Personality of the Year
YOU are probably a wonderful boyfriend and a great date. You're probably the friend all your friends wish they could be for just one night to see how you do it. You're probably that awesome. But still, you can always do better. No? We think so. AskMen's female staffers are shedding some light on the little things you do (or should be doing) that make the difference between describing you to their girlfriends as "good enough," and being the guy they want to hang on to:
1. Hello and Goodbye kisses
Nothing makes us feel at home like goodbye kisses in the morning and hello kisses when we get home. There's a warm and welcoming effect to this small gesture that says to your partner, "I'm happy to see you" or "I'll miss you" without actually having to say the words. For those of you who aren't talkers, this will go a long way towards taking care of any relationship confusion.
Sorry, guys, but cuddling is key. We probably love cuddling more or as much as you love actual sex. But seriously. Other than science proving time and time again that cuddling reduces stress and releases the feel-good hormone oxytocin, it's a real downer when, right after a session between the sheets, our partner gets right up and goes off to play Grand Theft Auto. Sex should not - and I repeat not - make you want to play GTA. It should make you want to cuddle us afterwards and tell us how beautiful we are. So if you end up leaping out of bed to your video game, pretty soon that same game will be keeping you warm at night.
3. Doing the little things
You've heard it before, no doubt, but while no woman will turn down a bouquet of flowers (and this is always much appreciated), you don't necessarily have to go to that extreme. It's the little things that show you thought about us, even if for no more than 10 seconds. Grab a sticky note, draw a lopsided heart on it (if we can't draw a good one, we don't expect you to!), and stick it in our purse for us to find later. If you're at the supermarket, grab our favorite chocolate bar. If we're in separate rooms doing things, randomly walk into our room, kiss us on the top of the head, and walk back out. No words required.
4. Noticing (and complimenting) the little things
Just saying something like, "You look nice today" goes a long way. A lot of women (no, not all) put effort into the little details of their appearance - makeup, hair, nails, etc. Women that don't put effort into the aforementioned things probably put it into something else you're well able to notice. If you're considerate enough to see we've had our nails done or put on a dress or whatever it is that signifies we've made an effort, it makes us feel good when you verbalize that you notice. Most of the time, we've done whatever it is to feel (and look) pretty so that you'll give us a positive response. Small compliments go a long way.
5. Doing the dishes
No, we're not saying it's glamourous, but at least we're not asking you to cook (just kidding, we are - once in a while). Really, though, when you do the dishes after we've cooked a nice meal, it feels like you appreciate us and what we did. It's one thing to simply say, "Thank you" and quite another to do something that shows us you're thankful. Any guy who eats our food and then parks himself on the couch to watch the football game is going to get an earful, anyway. Also, we'll do the same for you when you cook. And if we don't, we expect an earful as well.
6. Helping us with our jacket
Helping us with our jacket might be the last remnant of chivalry that's left and still appropriate in the age of do-it-ourselves womanhood. It also remains a surprising enough gesture that it will impress the woman you're with; it's not expected anymore. So it will make you look like a gentleman while not seeming conservative. Same with opening doors. If you're in a committed relationship, you can pull back the covers and invite us into bed with you. It's such a simple gesture of warmth and love.
7. Hugging from behind and kissing (on the forehead, nose, cheek)
Forehead kisses. Cheek kisses. Nose kisses. We don't need an all-out make-out session in order to feel that you're into us. In fact, sometimes we'd prefer not to have one. Instead, these sweet little pecks will show us you want us close (and you're feeling close to us) without it being all about sex. Likewise, when you put your arm around us or rub our arm, that intimate-yet-non-sexual contact makes us feel closer to you. Also worth noting: Hug from behind around the waist. Put your face in our neck while you're doing that and we're all yours.
8. Letting us sleep
How many times have you watched a movie on a date where your girlfriend falls asleep in your lap or on the couch next to you? Chances are, when the movie ends, you're wondering what you're supposed to do with her. Hint: Don't wake her up. Instead, grab a pillow and lift her head up a little and place the pillow underneath so she can keep sleeping comfortably. Or, if you're sleeping over and getting up before her, pick your clothes out the night before so you don't have to turn on the light to wake her up. When she finally wakes up, she'll feel like you've put her first.
9. Leading us through a crowd
There is nothing that makes us melt more than feeling that you want to protect us. We don't mean that you should get into fights with other guys over us or insist on seeing us everyday - that becomes obsessive. But putting a hand on our lower back or taking our hand to lead us through a crowded area makes us feel like you're concerning yourself with our presence. This makes us feel like you're there for us.
10. Saying thank you
Most women probably only notice this one once they date someone who says it, but a man who says thank you for the things we're surprised to be thanked for (calling, grabbing you a drink from the fridge, dressing up) is a keeper. Not only does it show you're considerate, but it shows you don't take us for granted. Which, guys, is a big, big relationship killer. Don't do it. Ever.